Epopeja o govnetu
Epska priča o ljepotici i njezinom sranju na romantičnom spoju
Svatko od nas ima barem jednu horor priču s obavljanjem velike nužde, ali rijetko tko ju se usudi staviti na internet. Pogotovo kada je ovako sramotna!
Kada te stisne, stisne! Možeš ili trpiti i savijati se od boli i grčeva pokušavajući zadržati tu smeđu bombicu u guzici dok ti se grašci znoja slijevaju niz čelo ili naći najbliži WC, rupu, polje ili grm i istovariti se kao čovjek, bez obzira na sve ono što društvo smatra pristojnim. Da, svi smo mi proživjeli barem jednu takvu situaciju, ako ništa drugo onda barem neko mahnito uletavanje u prvu birtiju, naručivanje mineralne koju nećeš niti pipnuti i trčanje do zahodske školjke. I to smo uglavnom zadržali za sebe.
E pa neki imaju potrebu ovakve doživljaje podijeliti sa svijetom, a jedna od njih je i prelijepa Makela iz Toronta, koja je otišla na spoj s likom kojeg je upoznala u trgovini. Nakon romantične večere, otišli su u njegov stan (tako se to radi u Kanadi!), a ono što se dogodilo nakon toga je u tančine opisala na svom Twitter profilu. Priča je vrlo brzo postala viralni hit, a nakon što ju pročitate, biti će vam jasno i zašto!
I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I am a confident, calm and self assured woman…so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I realized I didn’t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can’t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
I’d DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Him: you’re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that’s really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
That I’d fished out of his toilet…
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Wow. All of the hard work I put into being a hot girl is tarnished by one teeny tiny poop story. Now I’m just the poop girl
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016
Eh da Makela, jednom kada je drek vani, ne možeš ga više vratiti unutra. Ne moraš se brinuti kako će te muškarci izbjegavati nakon ove priče, ali svejedno neke stvari treba zadržati za sebe. Nije baš damski pričati o svojim izmetnim eskapadama, zar ne?
Komentiraj
NE PROPUSTI I OVE TEKSTOVE
Još iz rubrike
